Trying My Patience

Q: Why does our lives seem to just hold in limbo? I want so much more out of my existence here, yet, I seem to just be existing - not living. Is it my fault? The Universes? Source's? What is going on?

A: Every soul's life hangs in the balance at this time. Each soul is deciding whether to stay in their current energy pattern or to move forward into the coming new energy. You are undecided at this moment, Luv. A part of you is angry at everything and everyone for the place you find yourself dwelling in. The other part wishes to move forward into the new energy. You will have to decide what it is you truly desire.

Q: What I want seems to evade me.  So - George - you got any suggestions?

A:  Luv, temporal things will soon pass. Spirit lives on.  But - you have to decide that for yourself.

Q: George, do we have to always live through hell to learn a lesson?  Can't we sometimes learn an easier way?

A:  How would one truly learn if the emotions weren't tasked?  That is how the Ego learns. You want things to be easy and rosy. Sometimes they are. Sometimes they are not. The things you have gone through and felt deeply within your emotions will pass and the things you desire to be will come in their time. You need to be patient.

A: Child, have you not seen the true nature of love? Have you not felt my love before? Why do you doubt it?  This all will pass and you will have your desires. Do not doubt my words.

Q:  I am so tired I find it hard to believe in anything anymore. I hate the path I am on and I hate seeing my children suffering. Why can't I have what I ask? Is it so wrong to long for some peace in our lives?  Do we have to keep living in all this sadness? Can you not care a little more?

A: I do care. You must be patient. All will come at the appointed time for you and your children. But you must allow - doubt in me -  to leave.

Q:  All I want is to have my own home, quit my job and work on my books and my quilts. I want to see some good things come to my children and my friends. Is that so wrong?  Is wanting my own home wrong?

A: That too shall come in its appointed time child. Rest in my promise.

Q: I would love too but I am so tired emotionally I find it hard to believe in anything anymore. Eleven hour days are wearing my body down. The unrest in my existence is wearing me down and the fact nothing is coming of my books is frustrating. I feel like I am writing for not.  What's going on?  I can't seem to write anything good any more and I don't feel the power I once did, not since leaving Dripping Springs. So what in the hell am I suppose to be doing - working in a job I hate till I drop dead. What's up anymore?

A:  Child, you must believe in my love for you. Why must you always doubt it.

Q:  Every time I receive a little happiness in my life - I loose it. Its like I'm not suppose to have any. Tell me why is it so wrong to want to enjoy one's life here? Or is it just that I am not suppose too?

A:  You enjoy what you choose to enjoy child. One does not have to suffer emotionally unless that is the path they choose.

Q: Okay - so now it is my fault I live in this hell. I don't think so. All I want is to be able to once in a while have some fun, not have to constantly try to figure out how in the hell I am going to be able to pay my bills, or fix my teeth or see my children smiling.  Life sucks right now and I am tired. Can you not at least ask the Universe to bless my children, give them peace and some success and fun in their lives?

A:  That is all coming in its time.

Q:  They need work. They need to be able to pay their bills and buy food.  That doesn't even count the fact - they long to be able to work at the things they love - not what they have too. There are so many souls here able to have that. Why not my family?  Is it if one follows spirit - one has to remain poor and sad all of the time. I guess you  can tell I am very angry at this moment. I don't think I should have to suffer this way. I think it is wrong for so many to be suffering. Is that all there is here - suffering?  Why can't there be blessings and plenty for all?  I am beginning to hate this world.  So is this how I am to write the books I was told I was to write. I am beginning to think I am crazy and that I am just writing down what my mind thinks only.  You say - trust. Man - I don't even know what that means any more. All I am inside is bitter and angry.  I have no right to say or write anything anymore. Maybe it is time my path was ended and someone else carries the torch for the books.  I am no longer fit to write anything. I am exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally and I have not in me to believe in love.

A:  Child, I see your feelings and understand, but you must continue your path. No one is pure of heart. No one is spiritually superior. All falter and waver at times. This is one of your times. It too shall pass. The things you desire will come.

Q: Not before I loose what I want.

A:  Is this because of that home you desire?

Q: That and the suffering of my family.  I saw the sadness in my brothers face.  If we had still had our business I could have helped him, but we lost that too.  It was suppose to bless everyone - instead it left us in hell. Why?  Was it so wrong to want it to bless our family and our friends?  What in the hell is going on. I am so sad of heart, frustrated and now more than ever - angry. Maybe I should just leave this place.  I am so tired of all this sadness.  I can't bear anymore. I am too tired. I am too angry. And I don't even believe I am truly loved anymore.  It all sucks to me.

A: I see you are very tired and I see the anger starting in you. I understand all of this but if you still had your past life - you would not have continued the books or seeking me.

Q: Yeah - that's not true. When things were easier on us and our family - I wrote much more deeper things of spirit. I found more power in me to see things of spirit. Now, I just feel sadness and anger. So how in the hell is this suppose to teach me more of spirit.  Yes, I am so angry I could sit down and scream but then they would probably take me away and lock me up. 

A: Patience is the key child. There is a reason for all of these things happening. For one thing if your business would have continued your husband would not be where he is spiritually and your marriage would have dissolved. Both of you were not seeking the right path.  So remember all things happen for a reason. The path you are both on will bring happiness in time. You will see you were meant to write the books and your husband will see his path clearly too.  It will surprise you both at the joy you will feel.  I can assure you your dreams will all come to pass.

Q:  Everyone is talking about everyone suffering, going hungry and having nothing.  It scares the hell out of me for my family.  I can't help them - we are barely making it.  How I long to just get a haircut once in a while or have my nails done again. These are things I enjoyed for me. They made me feel pretty.  Something I no longer feel.  I just feel frustrated, angry, old and useless. So how am I to ever feel and understand love again?

A:  When you choose to accept things as they are and choose to feel joyous. It is all up to you child.

Feeling Confused

Q;  At this present time I am feeling very confused about the subject of changing one's self.  I know we create our path but how we can change it at will is confusing me.

A:  Each soul comes here to experience certain lessons.   How they learn them is up to each person.  To change one's path is simply making the choice.

Q:  Funny George, its not that easy.  You don't just say I'm going to change my path and bam - it changes.  I've tried that so many times only to be disappointed time and time again.  So - how does one change their path?

A:  When a prayer is uttered from one's heart - it is created. The prayer must be believe and accepted in one's heart. It has to be one with you.  Many souls just utter a prayer for change but do not accept it or believe it will be.

Q:  Are we talking about faith here?

A;  Faith is simply believing it will be.  It is such an easy thing to say but unfortunately on this dimension it is more often impossible for the ego to believe. The Ego is handicapped when it comes to faith. Again faith is a knowing it will be. The ego suffers from doubt and confusion. The soul on the other hand just knows it will be. One must merge the soul and ego to produce the change. It isn't easy. It must become a true belief that what you want will come.  There have been times in your past when you ask for a change and it happened. There are other times when it did not.  The different is belief.  You may call it faith but is is simply accepting the fact the reality will take place in your life.

Q:  So - does meditation help?

A:   Meditation helps anything in your walk but it does not create the change.  It is the acceptance within you that produces the change.

Q:  So - how do I do it?

A: Simply believe it will be and accept it in your heart.

Thoughts

Q;  Just a few posts back we were talking about thought as the creation of all things.  Please explain.

A:  Child, this is Shambia. Thought is you and is also all things.  When the creation of all things began - it was born from thought.  Thought creates life. It creates movement. It creates knowledge. It is the jest of all there is.  Without it - nothing would exist in this world or in any other Universe. You say - are there other worlds. There are millions of other worlds - each existing the same way - through thought creation.  Thoughts are energy in action. 

Q:  How?

A:  Energy created all things.  Creation is a binding together of all thoughts into a centered oneness.  It will never be separate - energy is from one source - love.  Love is the life of all things. That one energy is simply - the creation of thought.  Thought produces what one desires. If one desires something with all their might - it happens.  There have been things in your path in which your whole being longed for. Did it not happen?  Your thoughts - your desire - are what created that.

Q:  Why doesn't it still happen in my path?

A: A true thought is from the center of your being.  It comes without doubt. 

Q:  Well, I have thoughts but they do not materialize. Why?

A:  A true thought is one in which there is a knowing within that it will be. If one doubts - it will not be.

Q:  Okay - how do I produce a true thought?

A:  One does not produce it - it comes from within. It is a desire to have or be. It is as you love.  If you ask for something that is not a true thought - it will not happen. A true thought is a knowing within it will be as you have created within.

Q: How do I do that?

A:  Be the thought.

Q: You wanta explain that a little more?

A:  A true thought is simply - you - within - desiring it to be. It is not produced - it lives within.

Q: Okay - I'm simply not getting what you are saying.  How can I simply have a thought coming from within that I have not produced? Isn't my mind creating it?

A: A true thought is a desire - to have or be. It is not doubted or produce. It is and lives and becomes real.

Q: I guess this is too deep for my brain to understand.  If I think any thought isn't that true?

A:  A true thought is created by your love within,  child.  A true thought is what your heart truly desires. It comes and is created from love.

Q: Okay - then how do I find that place within me to produce my desires?

A:  You don't find it. It finds you child when the time for it to be comes.

War

Q:  George, why is their war?  We war in society, we war in our spirit, we war in our ego.  Seems to me all we do is war. Why?

A: The human spirit or ego - if you wish it that way -  is always wanting to obtain what it desires whether it is in society, our spirit or our ego.  It is always due to some form of desire.  War happens to obtain things, land, rule, or dominion. It isn't a pleasant thing for either side. It causes much grief to all those involved. Often it produces just the opposite of what the whole war started out for.  It is sad. We guides hate to see war happen in any given situation but it often is the best teacher - especially when it is a war within one.  Often a war in our spirit or ego will bring the soul into a new discovery of spirit and of themselves.  So sometimes war can be good.  If one wars, (lets say for example,) in their ego over the desire to gamble or not gamble.  The soul is in agony within fighting the desire to do it and suffering the guilt of what it will bring to them and those they love.  The war will eventually end when the ego chooses which direction it will go, but the natural consequences of their choice will start.  For the soul addicted to gambling it is often the one that will bring the most sorrow.  Often they will loose a great deal if not all they have. Those around them will suffer too, eventually that soul will finally come to the end of their struggle and choose to change. It is a hard and lonely road they will travel to get out of the addiction. Its the same with any addiction - no matter the love. Addiction is strictly a love.  The love is very strong and the desire to maintain that love even stronger. A soul can be addicted to any love.  Often we think of - a love - as a person, house, or car - as the real love. 
Loves can be anything.  Loves can be a desire to rule - to dominate, food, clothes, anger, jealousy, knowledge, sex, hatred, well you get my drift. It is anything we desire more than anything else.  It controls our thinking, our path's direction. It is what we become - as we seek after our love. If our love is to follow within the oneness of love then we find our path riddled with havoc.  For we can only truly learn to love as we suffer within the dying of our duality.  Duality produces separation. Love produces oneness.  So love can only be when we learn there is no such thing as separation. The only way to learn that  - is to allow the soul and ego to merge.  Believe me when I say - that will produce a war within you! The ego is not one to want the soul to have any say in our path.  It will fight to the end to maintain its dominance.  The soul on the other hand will simply love the ego as it is and allow it to have its way.  It wants peace - not war.  The ego desires the war.  It relishes the power and command.  Now you are thinking why have an ego.  It is bad. 
No, it is not.  The ego produces the journey for each soul to obtain knowledge of enlightenment. Without it we would not learn. It is a very necessary thing.  For only in the war can one learn what love is.

Q:  Why can't we just be born with the knowledge?  Why do we have to fight for it?

A:  If one is given everything does that one truly appreciate it?  No - one will simply take it for granted.  To realize what love is - one must take the path of true learning.  They must allow each experience to come forth in order for the lesson to be learned. Each experience walked - teaches that soul who and what they are. One can not change until one truly learns that.  If I state - all souls are one - with your mind dwelling in duality - would you grasp the true meaning of the word - oneness?  No - you simply would not.  For one will only learn it as the ego allows its counterpart the soul to merge with it and open up the truth that dwells within.  The light within  - given at that moment  - will begin the path to the knowledge of what it means when I speak of - oneness.  This is a journey all souls must take and continue to take. Even we guides continue to grow in enlightenment.  The only difference is we see the - why.